I love keeping a journal. That began years ago when a friend suggested I keep record of the beautiful things my parents did for me so that, when they were gone, I could keep those precious memories intact! From that initial journal keeping, I began to document lovely things that God was doing for me ~ everything from answered prayers to miraculous interventions to lovely surprises that He dropped into my day. You think you won't forget some of those larger God-moments, but it's amazing as I reread my journals, how many memories had subtly slipped away. Each time those memories are reflamed, I'm so grateful for these journals!
So I'm using this blog, in part, to capture some of the challenges and victories and surprises that have and are occuring during this painting journey. I guess it will always be a journey because there will never be a completion ~ only (hopefully) growth!
A dear customer of mine opened her lovely home to me at the beginning of November and we both invited friends and customers to come look at art. She also gracioiusly allowed me to include another artist friend along with a friend who makes silver jewelry. We were able to raise quite a bit of money for Hydrating Humanity and we're getting close to having enough funds to build a water well.
That art show could have been even more stressful if it was the first time my art had been on display. Fortunately, I had displayed some of my paintings at church earlier in the year. Putting paintings out for the first time was a little bit like taking your robe off in Times Square. It's also a time when you have to make a decision. Are you so tied up in the art that you are going to feel good about yourself if people applaud or bad about yourself if people are negative or ignore? Had I allowed my identity and worth to become entangled in paint on canvas, rather than getting my identity and worth from God, regardless of what people thought about the art? It was a question I had to face.
When we get ourselves too entangled in a "thing" (be that our appearance, our job, our home, what we paint, how our children perform, what we drive, etc.) that thing can become an idol. God strongly warns us not to have any idols in our lives . I used to think of idols as little gold statues that people of old worshipped. But I have come to see that we all have idols that present themselves in our lives ~ and that means there's a decison to make. Either we bow down to them and embrace them and give them a high place of importance ~ or we pull them down so that our prirority list remains healthy with God at the top of the list.
Painting has been such an emotional roller coaster for me in so many ways. One day in the "studio" (I use that term very loosly because it's also my interior design office), I may have such an upper of a day ~ the painting just flows onto the canvas, almost painting itself. The very next day may be full of agitation and frustration and a final canvas burial into the garbage bin. You can really get your hopes up when you paint several really good paintings in a row and feel like you have finally broken through to the other side where all artists want to live. But then that dog of a painting shows up and you are mindful of your limitations.
I spent a long, long season of painting when I was almost frantically painting every free moment that I had. I knew God had called me to paint so I took that as a permanent marching order to run full speed ahead. There was one landscape that I had worked and reworked multiple times. It SHOULD have been a good paiting. The composion elements were right. It should have been good but it was terrible. After reworking multiple times, I decided to change the color palette. It went from a bad painting to a really horrible painting that I wanted to wrap in brown paper before carrying it to the trash bin ~ in case anyone was watching.
What was wrong? I remember staring at the painting, trying to figure out what on earth was wrong when I heard the Lord softly whisper in my spirit the long-awaited answer:
"There's no grace on it." A divine light had been shown and I understood immediately what He was showing me.
I realize that this short update of a blog is turning into a book ~ so for any who have chosen to read (thank you!), I'm going to stop here and tackle the "grace" discussion for another day. It's been one of the most life-changing revelations for me and I want to give it the time and space it deserves.
Please know I am always interested in your comments or questions and would be so honored to pray for you if you have any requests. Feel free to contact me!